Respected children become respectful adults
Norma was fourteen and had a habit of biting her nails. Her mother slapped her on her cheek in front of people so that she might feel embarrassed and give up the bad habit. Norma is forty four now and her nails tell me that she still bits them…although she hasn’t forgotten the slap!
Children who are shamed in public are often shaken and lack confident while those who are respected and treated as individuals with their own likes and dislikes become confident adults, who respect their elders and are content with life. Norma wasn’t just rebuked in public; her parents picked out her clothes and also told her repeatedly that she was too simple. Norma wasn’t simple…she was made simple!
Times are changing and contrary to old belief, children are treated like persons and not property. When children are treated as a thing and are not given a voice to express their thoughts and imagination; they become introverted with hardly any respect for others. The messy boy in school who abuses teachers is abused at home every day! The girl who smokes outside her house and snaps at every passerby watching her is told she doesn’t belong in the family! The scars of childhood never fade; in fact they form an individual. If you respect your child and understand the way he or she thinks, you will be making him or her empathetic and sincere human being. Respected children are sure of themselves; they support others and are satisfied with people around them.
Loving children is easy but respecting them means to liberate some of your authority and let them enjoy their own say sometimes. This might sound small but it is indeed a big favor. Norma is just not a shy and angry woman but she is also a sensitive mother who tries to do all for her children but often feels that they don’t love her…they don’t respect her. Whether it is due to what she does or it is just her perception is not the discussion here. Respected children will never feel incomplete and become responsible adults…there are no two ways about this!